I logically know that God is present in my daily life, but I often struggle to see that presence. I struggle to hear God speaking to me. I wish He could take a megaphone and holler right into my ear, but I know that's not how it works.
Recently though, I was given a completely blatant example of the fact that God is indeed helping to guide the course of my life.
In Minnesota, the wedding season runs from May through October. Very few people get married in the winter, and the bulk of the weddings happen in the 3 summer months. This is my fourth wedding season as a photographer, and I have always photographed many weddings in July.
When I started to book 2013 weddings last summer, my June started to fill up. So did my September.
As 2013 came, I booked a couple for August, and a few in May and October.
Inquiries came and went for July, with no weddings ever being booked.
I wondered why it was happening that way. I booked enough in the rest of the season so that I didn't need to panic, but I just curiously wondered why my July was open.
I kept saying "Well, maybe God wants me to have an actual summer month with weekends open for once!"
And then, summer came.
My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer in the middle of June.
The next few weeks were spent in and out of the hospital and short term rehab facilities, as he tried to regain enough strength to go back home.
And then, on July 9th, he was rushed to the hospital and he passed away a week later on July 16th.
I was extrememly close to my grandpa and my whole family was [and is] devastated.
To add onto that, my sister and brother in law have been planning a cross country move to Florida for the last several years. It's always seemed so far away; years, months away.
And now, they move in a week.
These last few weeks spent rallying around my grandpa offered my family the opportunity to spend more time together than we would have otherwise, before they make their big move.
If I had been shooting weddings every weekend this month, I wouldn't have been able to spend entire days in the hospital with my family, and devote my entire attention to preparing for my grandpa's funeral.
If I had been shooting weddings, I wouldn't have had as much free time to spend with my sister and brother in law before they move.
God knew.
He knew what July would be like for my family.
He knew I needed time to be with them, and time to process everything.
He knew, and He provided me with that time.
This is one of the few blatant examples I can remember where I've so clearly felt God's hand in my life.
I am humbled and comforted.
Have you felt the presence of God clearly in your own life? If you have an easy time hearing and listening to Him, do you have any advice for me?
I don't think it's ever going to be easy. I think we just need to make ourselves as open to seeing and hearing Him as possible. When I slow down, look, listen and feel—that's when he is most obvious. And sometimes when I am rushed, frustrated and downright sinful, I can look back and see how he came in and gave me clarity. Maybe not ever easy, but when those moments appear, my faith is even stronger. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for the lovely comment, Andrea! I wholeheartedly agree... I struggle with slowing down. I always feel like I have a million things to do [we all do!] but those things don't always have to be done NOW. I need to take a step back and slow down, for the sole purpose of giving myself room to listen and hear God more.
ReplyDeleteLove you! you took such good care of your grampa and you have been such a good daughter and grandaughter. You are all blessed to have had him in your lives for so long. He was an amazing man and your loving relationship is not over..it has taken an eternal shift.I am so thankful for God's exquisite timing in your life. xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteOh Julie, you are so kind. Thank you for the beautiful words.
ReplyDeleteYou are right - our relationship isn't over... it's just taken a different turn. And I KNOW we'll get to play cards again someday.
Thank YOU for being such a good friend to my mom. Now and always.