Today, we say our Earthly goodbyes to one of the most incredible men I have ever met in my entire life. My family is grieving the loss of my grandfather; we feel the empty void very clearly. The head of the family is no longer here with us, and we feel his absence sharply.
But we know that he is no longer in pain, and is now in a place that is more amazing than the best possible day here on Earth. We also know that this is just a temporary goodbye. We know we will see him again. We are counting on it.
I wrote Grandpa a letter a couple of days ago. I process things and express myself best in writing, so this was my way of saying goodbye to him. I never want to forget this letter.
I love you, Grandpa.
---
Wednesday, July 17th,
2013
Dear Grandpa Pettit,
I can't believe I'm writing
this letter to you.
I guess I never thought
about what it would be like when you would no longer be here. You
have always been such a key part of my life, and such a steadfast and
healthy part; I never let myself consider what it might be like once
you were no longer here with us.
And now that you are no
longer on Earth with us anymore, I'm struggling to accept it.
I spent the last several
hours looking through old photo albums and making the Laura/Erica
photo board for your funeral. As I paged through 12 or 13 jam packed
photo albums, it was amazing to see how many photos have you and
Grandma in them. So many. Dozens. You and Grandma were a part of
every important part of my life so far, and many mundane, everyday
parts too.
I feel incredibly blessed
that you and Grandma are my grandparents. I am so thankful that you
were my Grandpa. And I'm even more thankful that I was able to live
so close to you and to be able to do so many things with you and
Grandma throughout the years, creating the awesome relationship that
I have had with you two. Not everyone gets that. But I did. I had the
best Grandpa ever.
When you were in the
hospital, I decided to make a list of memories, or things that I love
about you. I don't want to forget a single thing. Ever.
So many of my favorite
memories have you in them, Grandpa.
Singing out loud with Erica
to Rainbow Bright while crusing in the candy car. I'm sure you and
Grandma wished that tape would somehow find it's way to the garbage
because you were probably so sick of listening to it on repeat. Man,
we loved that tape.
Coming down every spring
break from 2nd grade on, to visit you and Grandma in
Carefree. Driving the golf cart around the streets and getting
hollered at by the cranky old man. I credit you with my good driving
skills today. :)
Playing game after game of
Hand and Foot, Dominos, Golf and the occasional Shoot the Moon round.
Erica and I hardly ever won, and I know we gave you the major guilt
trip when you wanted to go out and we weren't even close to being
ready. We aren't the best losers, and you graciously put up with our
pouting. You taught me how to play cribbage up in Canada too. I also
remember playing solitaire next to you, to pass the time while it
rained.
As I flipped through the
pages of photos from every year of my life, there you were, smiling
back at me. You were always smiling. Always laughing. Always happy.
That is how I will always
remember you.
We are grieving the loss of
you - the most amazing man. A devoted husband, a deeply loved and
respected father, and an adored grandfather. The world seems a little
less vibrant without you in it, Grandpa.
But thankfully, this isn't
the final goodbye.
Thankfully, we share the
same faith that this isn't the end. I know will see you again
someday.
Someday, you and Grandma
will get to take a spin on the dance floor again, while you laugh and
hold each other close like you did at the casino when we were there
for New Years. Someday, you and Grandma will challenge Matt and I to
another battle of Hand and Foot, and we'll probably lose to you two
again. Like usual. I promise I won't pout if you want to go out this
time.
Someday, I will see your
smiling face again, and I will hear your big, deep laugh again. I
will feel your tight bear hug squeeze again. I know it.
Until then, we will wrap
Grandma in all the love and comfort that you provided for her in the
58 years you were married. We will continue to look at photos and
remember the amazing times we had with you. We will talk to you and
seek your guidance when we need it, and look for you in nature when
we miss you terribly. We will keep your memory alive and never, ever
forget you.
You were the most amazing
grandfather I could have ever asked for. You loved Grandma with your
whole heart and you cherished your kids – every one of them. You
adored each of us grandkids, no matter how old we were, where we
lived or what we were doing with our lives. You loved each of us
unconditionally, and without holding back.
And boy, do we love you. We
love you so much.
Hug your parents and your
siblings up there, Grandpa. Say Hi to Grandma and Grandpa Hensel for
me, and tell them I miss them. Have fun fishing and playing poker in
Heaven, and know that I'll be joining you with my pole, ready to spit
in the water when I get up to Heaven too. We can catch some fish
together and then play another game of cards after. Maybe we can
share a candy bar while we fish too.
I love you so much and I
will miss you every day.
Until we meet again,
Laura “Hepsaba Pinchen
Hensel” Radniecki
